Infant Enhancement Appendages
The human infant does not possess sufficient speed and motor skills to keep up with today’s busy economy. Our studies indicate that their average velocity rarely exceeds .3 kilometers/hour, which by modern standards is entirely acceptable.
With great confidence, we’ve developed the first Infant Enhancement System to remedy these woes. By attaching four 1.6 meter mechanized titanium appendages, controlled by a deep neural bridge, we’ve proven to increase efficiency of the human infant over 2496%.
For example, rather than fumbling with an inconvenient car seat for your human infant, you may simply tether it to your automobile as it scampers alongside. Reducing your human infant’s parental dependency increases overall household productivity, and moves both of you closer to achieving maximum efficiency.
