Optional Slipgate System
We’ve all been there–airport congestion, holiday traffic, flight delays. Big airlines have presented little options for frustrated travelers under these stressful conditions… until tomorrow.
We’re pleased to present the RD4T-SLG666: the world’s first trans-continental teleportation device. Should your flight be delayed, airport representatives will cart the SLG666 conveniently to your gate. Walking through the SLG666 transports you instantly to your desired location with minimal internal bleeding. This exciting new system boasts a 57% chance of survival!
Just light the ceremonial torch, arrange the three runes in accordance with your destination’s postal code, and remember to sacrifice one mammal for each carry-on item you plan to take with you.
Should you find yourself in an unexpected place / dimension, remember that you may be able to use your teeth as currency. Spend them wisely.
