Snake Revenge System
Without going into the specifics* we humans can all agree that snakes are evil–Biblically Evil–and have earned the hatred of our entire species. Long have we sought the proper means to express this hatred efficiently. After hours of testing, we’ve discovered that the most primal and efficient hate expression is the human punch. However, with their dirty scales, quick evil movements, and lowly habitat, snakes are notoriously difficult to punch… until tomorrow.
Introducing the RD4T-SP360: The first robot ever designed specifically to allow you to punch a snake in the face. This amazing new product is a sophisticated humanoid-robot designed to give serpents the necessary corporeal mass to effectively receive a direct and painful blow. Simply capture the offending serpent, feed it through SP360’s neck-hole, fasten the automatic neck clamps, and power the speaker. The robot will balance itself upright, begin flailing its weak-looking appendages, and produce 128bit audio samples of realistic hissing sounds. The snake is no longer hiding behind his cowardly animalistic advantages. It’s standing up, and looking you straight in the eye like a man. It’s time. It’s time to punch that evil snake IN THE FACE.
Also features integrated wifi.
*There are exactly 255 reasons to punch a snake.
