Halloween Child Detainment Robot
Every year on October 31st, entirely unprovoked, human juveniles disguise themselves in order to wander the streets anonymously and beg for food. Meek and docile juveniles are rewarded with confectionery goods, while the disobedient juveniles who attempt to destroy local homes are left unpunished… UNTIL TOMORROW!
We have created a highly sophisticated machine designed to infiltrate and abduct neutralize packs of disobedient juveniles alleviating the threat to your home security. In order to earn the confidence of disobedient juvenile beggars, the RD4T-CDR550 looks and acts exactly like a child on Halloween night. Optionally, the CDR550 can be programmed with almost two-dozen realistic phrases, such as “FELLOW HUMAN: ARE YOU PRE-MEDITATING ACTS OF VANDALISM?,” “FELLOW HUMAN: I COULD EAT 0-255 PEZ BISCUITS,” and “THE CURRENT TIME IS: 7:30 PM”
Once the CDR550 is in adequate range, it will capture and store up to seven disobedient juveniles in its Abdominal Detainment Cavity (ADC). The ADC is equipped with audio/visual discomfort sensors to ensure that the juvenile captives within receive a punishment commensurate to their violations.
If the unit is unsuccessful at infiltrating packs of juvenile disobediants, CDR550 also acts as a sentry to protect your home from POMIs (Projectiles of Malicious Intent).] Armed with a lethal class IV laser, CDR550 will disintegrate eggs and toilet paper in mid-air with nearly 47% accuracy!
Protect your home. Arm yourself. Abduct the human children.
